5K Buddy Run - God did it!!

I do not particularly like running. Last spring, however, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try and work towards running a 5K. About a month ago I hit a wall, so to speak, and I have had no desire to keep running since. I have only continued to train (only once or twice a week)because I was already signed up to run this 5K. As I've been preparing for this run I've found myself praying for perseverance - both to finish each practice run and to be able to keep going strong in life with all that I have going on right now. I've had to walk at least part of the way every time I've gone out to practice. Earlier this week, I thought I had gotten over my wall and was feeling motivated to just do it. I left the house saying that I was going to run the whole way! I think I made it two thirds of the way, maybe a little more. After that, I didn't think there was any way I was going to be able to run the whole distance today. I didn't even have another chance this week to get another practice run in.

I really do have a lot going on right now. I'm preparing for a craft fair and getting ready to be gone for a week immediately following that. We also got some good news this week - that our first homestudy interview is scheduled for next Tuesday morning. Yay! Wait, now I have a whole lot of cleaning (which should be done anyway) to add into my already full schedule. No problem. I'm learning to better manage my time so I made a plan and wrote it into my weekly schedule. Wow, this weekend was already full. That's ok. I can make it work. Oh no. I forgot about MOPS on Friday morning and I'd already promised the kids to spend that afternoon on a project.

Needless to say, I was not particularly pumped about this 5K run. Then Timothy woke up early this morning. I was grumpy and he started crying when we left him with friends - which he doesn't normally do.

Ok, Jenny, so what's the point of all this?

God met me out there on the race course and taught me an important lesson. At the start of the run I was feeling stressed out and near tears. Michael encouraged me to use my time praying. He also ran today but his pace is much faster than mine. I was tired by the first turn. I focused on praying - for the children, our neighbors, etc. It was a "there and back" run so on the way back I found myself praying for perseverance again and being just a little frustrated that I was spending my Saturday morning running when I had so much to do. I was having a realization that I couldn't possibly get it all done in time. It was then that God reminded me of Gideon. (You can read his full story in Judges 6 & 7 in the Bible). In short, God gave Gideon the task of leading the Isrealites to defeat Midian. Gideon gathered a large army but God said no - there are too many in that army. And He proceeded to cut Gideon's numbers down to 300 men "in order that Isreal may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her" (Judges 7:2b). I suddenly realized that I couldn't run this whole race on my strength. I had tried and failed earlier in the week. I kept asking God to help me but it finally sunk in that I needed to rely soley on Him to complete it. Now, in some ways it seems trivial to rely on God to finish a foot race. But, I love how God works things together sometimes! This race was exactly the picture and encouragement I needed to get through the next few weeks most immediately but really all of life. Instead of being frustrated that MOPS and a 5K fell this week as well as several other church related activities this weekend, I can be thankful that it is God carrying me and it is His strength that will see my tasks to completion. May His name be praised! After I started resting on His strength this morning during that race, I realized that I was actually picking up speed. I finished in just under 37 minutes and I was sure going into it that I wouldn't break 45. And, I was smiling as I crossed the finish line! I serve a great God who cares enough to carry me over the finish line of a foot race! We will be ready for that homestudy interview. We'll be ready for the craft fair. I'll be ready to leave for a week. And each of those things are only small steps in the process of this adoption journey we've begun. He will provide and bring that to completion as well.

Isaiah 40: 28-31

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

My Story

Well, it's been a while since I posted anything. In the last month and a half, I've been taking a 7 week class at the Seminary called Women Mentoring Women. It has been really good - both challenging and encouraging. We have also started the process of adoption and have a big pile of paperwork that we're working our way through. So... I haven't taken the time to sit down at the computer and share. One thing I have worked on recently because of the class I'm taking is writing out my testimony. I've done this before but this time I was really challenged to think about how God has and does work in my life to effect change in my heart and I wanted to include the beautiful truth that I've been learning over the past few years that the Gospel is as relevant to me today as it was when I first became a Christian.

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Mine, at first glance, is not a story of great change. I've known the Lord for as long as I can remember. And I've loved Him and wanted to please Him equally as long. I don't really have a “before and after” story. Christ has always been an important part of my life. And I am SO grateful for that blessing! But when I look a little deeper, right down to my heart, the need for continued change becomes obvious.


The more I read in His word and know His character and His standard, the more I realize how far short I fall – how stained and dirty and sinful I am.

I am so thankful for His grace: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.” Eph 1:3-4



I know that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom 3:23) and that “the wages of sin is death” (Rom 6:23).



I deserve death “but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5: 8) He took my punishment and gave me His righteousness – which He also offers to everyone (John 3:16). And it is because of Christ's righteousness that I am holy and blameless in the sight of the Lord.

 - Think about this with me... We have a holy and just God who punishes sins (disobedience to Him). The punishment for sin is death. I have sinned. Therefore, I should die. Jesus never sinned. He didn't deserve death but He chose to die and take God's wrath on Himself so that I don't have to. He took my punishment and gave me His righteousness (or right standing before God)! Wow!

I like what author, Jerry Bridges has to say about God's justice in his book, The Discipline of Grace: "At this point it will be helpful to distinguish between justification and a mere pardon. A pardon is excusing an offense without exacting a penalty. It may be granted gratuitously by a president or governor for no reason at all, and sometimes has been done at the expense of justice... In God's plan of justification, however, justice is not violated by a gratuitous pardon of the convicted sinner. Rather, justice has been satisfied; the penalty has been fully paid by the Lord Jesus Christ."

Without Him, I am a tired, impatient, even angry mom. I am a cold and bitter wife. I am a rebellious and ungrateful daughter. I am a bossy sister. I am an inconsiderate friend. I am selfish. My friends and certainly my family have seen me as such. But praise the Lord, these are not the traits that characterize my life. In Him, I am a new creation (Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2Cor 5:17). Because He loves me and serves me, I desire to love and serve my husband and children as well as my extended family and my friends. I can put aside my desires and honor others above myself (Romans 12:10). I can seek His glory and not my own (To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen. Rev 1:6 ).

Even then, even in my good works, I am still aware of my sinfulness (All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; Isaiah 64:6a) 


This is why I need to remember everyday the good news that God came to earth in the person of Jesus, He lived and experienced life as a human. He was tempted and He suffered. He died a brutal death – which is really what I deserve – and He rose again on the third day and is currently alive in Heaven with God the Father. He sent the Holy Spirit to equip me and guide me. He has given me everything I need for life and godliness (2Pet 1:3) In Him, I find grace and mercy (Heb 4:16). I have forgiveness and hope (In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. Eph 1:7-8).

I am so thankful for God's grace as He has revealed Himself to me, first through my mom & dad and Sunday school teachers, then through His word especially as I clung to the only familiar thing near me during my year in France as an exchange student. He granted me a Christian community in college who challenged me and pointed me ever more to live according to His word. He gave me a godly husband who continues to do that for me. And He has refined me through my marriage and my children. He has given us a wonderful church family to be a part of. My story is really His story - for without Christ, I am nothing. In Him, I am a child of God, co-heir with Christ! Tho' I may face trials and hard times here on this earth, I know that I am in His hand and will spend the rest of forever with my LORD. Praise be to God!

Resurrection Day!!

^"But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? ¹³If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. ¹⁴And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. ¹⁵More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. ¹⁶For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. ¹⁷And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. ¹⁸Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. ¹⁹If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." 1 Corinthians 15:12-19

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, ⁵who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time." 1Peter 1:3-5

Grammar

One of my favorite things that I have learned / am learning from The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges and Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick has to do with grammar. I ran across this first in Elyse Fitzpatrick's book last fall. The grammar part is this: An indicative statement tells what has already been indicated or declared about someone or something. An imperative statement is a command or a giving of directions. So what does this have to do with God's Word in my life? Mrs. Fitzpatrick points out that in God's Word, imperatives are paired with indicatives.

Here's an example:
Ephesians 5:1-2 "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. " I put the imperative in green and the indicative in yellow. God's commands for us are rooted in His great love for us. Notice also that it does not say, " be imitators of God so that you can be His beloved children." No, I am already dearly loved and just like my children seem to copy everything I do (because they know I love them and they want to be like me), so am I to imitate my heavenly Father (whose love is perfect and so much better than my love for my children could ever be).

You see, the indicative (what we know is true) motivates the imperative (the action). It is so helpful to me to meditate on the indicative statements about God's love for me. It's done. He loves me. period. Christ died for my sins. There's nothing that I can do to earn His love or to cause Him to love me less. That is motivation for me to do what He says and to want to be like Him. I find that when I focus on the indicatives, I'm much more likely to do the imperatives.

Heb 11

I have a ton of things that I need to be doing right now... groceries to be put away, dishes to be washed, meals to be cooked, rooms to be cleaned, emails to be written, the list goes on...

I almost just jumped in to start knocking things out but, as I try to do every day when Timothy goes down for a nap, I took a little time to read in God's Word.  Well, to be honest, I didn't sit down to read right away.  I did a few other things first.  Today, I was reading in Hebrews 11 - often known as the Faith Hall of Fame.  I hurried through so I could get on to what I really needed to be doing (why do I always fall into that way of thinking?!).  Verse 26 caught my attention, tho', when I read, "He [Moses] considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward."  Moses, and all the other Bible "greats" that are mentioned in Hebrews 11 had faith, not just in the fact that God exists, but in His promise to send a Savior, Christ Jesus!

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ²looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."  Hebrews 12:1,2

May I remember today, as I work my way through my list, to look to Jesus.  I am so thankful that he endured the cross so that I don't have to live in condemnation.  I have hope of something far greater than a completed list or a clean house.

Hebrew 1 & 2

I'll share more of what God's teaching me through The Discipline of Grace and tell you about the other book as we go along. But today I'm reading in Hebrews 1 & 2 and the message of the Good News of Jesus as stated in these chapters is amazing!

The author says this about Jesus in 1:3-4, "He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, ..." !

In Chapter 2, the author refers to Christ as our brother. I love that through my faith in His death and resurrection, I am adopted into God's family and Christ is truly my brother! :) And what a brother he is! "Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation [or to turn aside God's wrath] for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted" (2:17-18). This is the good news of the gospel that I mentioned in my last post. Without Christ, I would be hopeless in my sin but because He saw fit in his perfection to accept God's wrath for my sin, I can accept his righteousness (or his right standing before God) as my own. I am so thankful that I can stand in humble gratitude before God because of what Jesus did for me. I often must remind myself of this truth and let go of my tendency to want to dwell on my failures or punish myself for my shortcomings. I am forgiven and I have a wonderful hope in Jesus. I also have to let go of my efforts to be Superwoman (Christian, wife, mom). Sometimes I seem to think I can just buck up and do "it" all on my own. This might seem semi-successful for a while but I inevitably fail miserably. Like I said before, my hope is in Jesus and it is only in seeking His glory (He is, after all, the one who "upholds the universe by the power of His word") that I will find true success and fulfillment.

Skin

Learning to put skin on my desire for Jesus to be ALL I need or in other words, learning to practically live my life in such a way that it reflects Jesus as my ALL, has not been an easy task. Honestly, it is a constant struggle to keep my focus on Him as I go through the daily-ness of my days (washing the dishes, cooking meals, sweeping the floor - again!, doing laundry, picking up toys, ...). God has been kind to put a couple of good books in my path that are helping me make some much needed changes in my way of thinking and consequently living, as well. One of those books is "The Discipline of Grace" by Jerry Bridges. Our Care Group at church is working through this one. The girls in our group are actually doing an online discussion as we read through the book together. Below are some my thoughts that I shared with the girls in my group...

I've been struck lately by how much I focus on me, like the Pharisee. I thought it was a good thing to want to be a great wife and mom, a good housekeeper, etc... What I've come to realize is that anything that takes my focus off of Christ is sin. So when I desire to be a great mom more than I desire Christ, that's wrong. I would never have said that I wanted those things more than Christ, but my life reflected it (still does, all too often). As I learn to keep my focus in the right place I am becoming painfully aware of my inability to be good in any capacity. To put it like Jerry Bridges said in this chapter, I am looking less at the more obvious, blatant sins that are so prevalent in our culture and am comparing myself to Christ, who is holy and perfect. I obviously don't even begin to measure up. I like what Dr. Bridges said on p.36, "I am not suggesting that being irritable at one's spouse is as serious as something like adultery. I am saying that being irritable at one's spouse is sin, and that all sin grieves God and should grieve us." Thankfully, we have the truth of the Gospel to fall back on and that is the topic of our next chapter. :)

Searching the Word

With Timothy sleeping soundly that first day, I settled in on the couch, ready to search the Word for some answers. I've been reading through the Bible and my reading that day fell on Luke 10. Reluctantly I decided to start there. What I really wanted to do was search for some scriptures that dealt directly with the questions I was asking. Turns out that I probably couldn't have found a more relevant passage if I had tried. Here's an excerpt from my journal that day:

"My Bible reading today fell in Luke 10. And I particularly took note of 2 things. The first was in v.20 when the 72 disciples have returned after Jesus sent them out, rejoicing that the demons are subject to them in Jesus' name. In v.20, Jesus warns them that their focus is off. It's a good thing that the spirits are subject to them but their joy should lie in the fact that their names are written in heaven. Lord, please help me get my focus right and keep it there.

The second thing I noticed was towards the end of the chapter in the section about Martha and Mary. ... Verse 41 says, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.' Lord, I've been trying to do all these things that I think are necessary and good and I've neglected the one truly necessary thing - my relationship with You. I do truly want to change. Please help me."

All that I need.

Last fall, as our pastor preached on John 10 he made the comment, "Being a forever sheep in the Shepherd's pasture is all I want." That phrase has really stuck with me and gotten me thinking. What does it mean for Jesus, or being with Him, to be ALL I want? How is that realistically possible? What does that look like, lived out in a person's life? I've been a Christian a long time. I've sung the words, "You are my all in all" and "All that I need is you, Jesus" but is it true? Do I really believe it? As I was thinking through this, I had to say honestly that I wanted a lot of things - a lot of good things - AND Jesus! But pastor had shown us from the text in John 10 that ALL we should want is to be forever sheep in the Shepherd's pasture. What does that mean?

The first thing I decided to do was to set aside some significant time to spend with the Lord and to search His Word. So I committed Timothy's nap time for this end - all of his nap time - for at least a week. If you are the mother of a toddler you know how very important this time of the day is for getting things done. Never the less, I decided to give it up in my search to understand what it means to only want Jesus. I realized that the closest I'd ever come to experiencing that had been in college when I spent much more time with Him. But since getting married and then children... how could I only want Him when I have so many other responsibilities!?